Elevating Everyday Conversations: Making Room for Clarity, Curiosity, and Connection
In leadership, it’s often the everyday conversations that shape a team’s culture. These small interactions are where alignment is clarified, trust is built, and change actually begins.
There are still times when seasoned leaders struggle to bring their full attention and grounded presence to these moments. The pressure to say the “right” thing, the pace of the work, and the weight of responsibility can lead to communication that feels reactive or overly polished.
So how do leaders elevate real-time conversations without overengineering them?
What Gets in the Way of Real Connection
When a leader is struggling to connect with their team, I usually begin with one question: What’s the quality of your relationship with this person or group? Often, there’s a missing layer of human-to-human connection. Before diving into performance conversations or strategy alignment, we focus on deepening the relationship.
The most effective communication happens when people feel seen, heard, and understood. Not just as colleagues, but as individuals.
Practices That Bring Leaders into the Moment
If a leader I am working with doesn’t already have a mindfulness practice, I often invite a few options to introduce one. These don’t need to be elaborate. Micro habits in the moment make a real difference. It might be:
Taking a deep breath.
Feeling the ground through your feet.
Noticing the ridges of your fingertips.
Having something scented nearby that anchors you.
These are somatic practices that bring a leader back into their body, helping them respond with intention rather than react from habit.
Another practice I often introduce early is a lens from the Conscious Leadership model: Are you above the line or below the line?
Above the line, you're grounded and curious, bringing a flexible mindset that is open to change. Below it, you're in protection mode. You might be tense, reactive, or need to be right. Simply naming where you are builds the awareness that allows for a shift if needed.
It’s a subtle but powerful question that brings leaders back to presence, where effective conversations can begin.
Building Curiosity and Presence
When in doubt, start with curiosity.
If a leader feels stuck in a conversation or unsure how to move forward, I encourage them to ask a clarifying or deepening question. Curiosity is a powerful guidepost. It invites the other person into the conversation and shifts the dynamic from performance to connection.
Moving Beyond Scripts to Somatic Presence
Saying the “right” words has its place, but presence matters more. One way I approach this with leaders is by asking:
“When you think of someone who leads conversations well, what do you notice about how they show up?”
Responses often sound like this:
They’re at ease.
They make you feel like the only person in the room.
They’re deeply present, even when busy.
That energy, being fully in the room and grounded in your body, makes more impact than memorizing phrases ever could.
The Power of Revealing and Exchanging
In one team engagement I led, the group wanted to increase openness and trust. Together, we explored the skill of revealing, being more candid and transparent about thoughts and experiences.
We used a video from the Conscious Leadership Group on candor and revealing, and the team ran with it. The shift in energy through these conversations was immediate. Less filtering, more real exchange. Less holding back, more momentum.
When we don’t reveal, we leave potential on the table.
A Practical Framework: Fact, Story, Feeling, Want
One model I’ve found helpful for structuring honest and respectful conversations is a framework of four parts: fact, story, feeling, and want. It offers a simple, powerful way to organize what you need to say and how you say it, especially when conversations feel tense or unclear.
What are the facts?
What a camera would record. The unarguable reality.
Example: “We agreed in the meeting to X.”
What’s the story?
Interpretations, judgments, assumptions.
Example: “I’m telling myself this isn’t a priority for you.”
What are the feelings?
True emotions, not blame-phrased.
Example: “I’m feeling anxious because I’m accountable for the deliverable.”
What do you want?
Naming the desired outcome makes the conversation purposeful.
Example: “I’d like us to reset expectations and agree on next steps.”
This model is foundational. I often introduce it when a team is stuck in loops or hesitating to address something directly. Once these four elements are in play, momentum tends to return. It helps leaders move from vague or overly polished conversations into honest dialogue that strengthens trust and speeds up clarity.
Small Shifts, Big Impact
What is often labeled a “communication issue” is in essence a presence issue, a clarity issue, a human connection issue.
Leaders don’t need more scripts. They need practices that help them return to the moment, get curious, and show up with intention to elevate their conversations and connections.
Conversation Prompts to Get You Started
If you're looking to elevate your everyday leadership conversations, here are a few prompts to try:
What relationship needs more depth right now?
Where am I telling myself a story that might need clarification?
How can I show up more fully in the next conversation?
Want to bring more clarity, presence, and trust into your leadership communication?
I partner with leaders and teams to make in-the-moment exchanges more intentional, courageous, and effective.
Let’s talk about how your team can build elevated conversations, more trust, and stronger momentum. Sign up for an exploration call here.
Liv Olson is an executive coach and facilitator specializing in team effectiveness. She partners with financial services leaders and their teams to strengthen clarity, confidence, and collaboration.